What to do when an emotion is too overwhelmed.
It is scary go back to write again about my own issues.
I remember writing long message to Kurt, full of pain, and confusion.
I have gone through so many unhealthy relationships, it is likely that I might get in more relationships like that as I get older. With the time I might start begging for hugs, and attention, like a depressive old lady, due to the aging process, but also due to my personal human nature.
Always with man that have a different mindset, different language, always with a person that lives beyond some sea or some ocean.
Now, always with broken souls. And if I ever have found a soul that looked stronger, I flew away, a full grown man is too much for me to handle. Especially if I feel that I won’t be able to grow besides that person, and that that person wants me to be his shadow.
So, there are some things that I want to attempt to do in order to avoid getting in such a situation again.
Some golden rules.
I am almost 37 years old now.
A man that I love is asking me to take care of myself, get my projects done, and look for my own stability, pursuit my dreams.
I have the opportunity to become a successful interpreter here in Bogota.
I have no money to leave, I have no business abroad Colombia. All that I have is a handful of dreams that I won’t be able to pursuit. It would be harder to become an international interpreter or translator, or psychologist.
So, I was talking my golden rules, right?
So, let’s think. Things that I have to do before…
1. Improve my English.
2. Train to become a brilliant interpreter, (Simultaneous and Consecutive), also a translator.
3. Earn money.
4. Save money.
5. Don’t buy any clothes or shoes for the rest of the year.
6. Learn Portuguese or French.
7. Get stable in some city, or place, stop moving like a gypsy.
Now Golden Rules.
1. First me. My emotional health, my physical health.
a. Emotional self-care.
i. Paint.
ii. Sing.
iii. Read poetry.
iv. Enjoy art.
v. Learn.
vi. Be aware of my cycles.
vii. Be kind with my words towards myself.
viii. Stop believing my own lies.
ix. Reborn new and fresh.
x. Forgive myself.
xi. Give yourself pleasure.
xii. Reduce bad habits that stress you out. (Bad money management, bad emotional management, lack of hygene, lack of sleep, oversleeping, casual sex).
xiii. Get a sunbath all days.
xiv. Get a moon bath.
xv. Be naked.
xvi. Look nice.
xvii. Enjoy outside walks.
b. Work out
i. Practice yoga daily. Start again.
ii. Got to a gym.
iii. Walk daily.
iv. Review your posture.
c. Eat healthy.
i. Keep a meal schedule.
ii. Don’t use food to relieve stress or sadness.
iii. Don’t eat after 7 p.m.
iv. Have breakfast before 8 a.m.
v. Drink plenty of water.
d. Physical Health.
i. Go to the doctor.
ii. Brush the teeth twice daily.
iii. Reduce sugar intake.
iv. Drink plenty of water.
v. Always take your lenses out of your eyes before sleep.
vi. Use your glasses at least 2 days a week.
vii. Use a pill as soon as you feel headache. Don´t need to let it evolve.
viii. Go back to give yourself massages.
e. Read
f. Play the guitar.
g. Develop some social skills.
i. Make some friends.
ii. Don’t let conversations to die.
iii. Don’t interact with people when feeling down, or sad, or angry.
iv. Learn how to listen.
v. Use less the headphones when surrounded by people.
2. Taking care of my family.
3. My professional career – Interpreter, translator, psychologist.
I just want to say, because I want to heal...I expose myself to pain with you just for sex. And I am not that much in need of sex, my greatest need right now is respect. A lot of foreigners are in need for sex with the local. I guess it won't happen to me again. You are right, I am in the middle of a personal battle, I needed be take care of, even though I am independent, sometimes I am tired of fighting. I wish you well. Don’t remember me. Let me go, maybe that will help me to let you go as well, to forget you.
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