Ojos llenos de plenitud!

En éste ejercicio de livemocha, en el primer nivel de inglés, se me pedía describir el color de un tractor, una billetera, una puerta, una casa, una moneda, una flor y un árbol, los colores que me daban eran plateado, marrón, azul, dorado, rojo, amarillo, blanco, negro. Decidí revelarme un poco y describir algo diferente:

I think that Im pasionate about the eyes colours, I use to remember the eyes colour of people easier than their names. In example, my firts kitty, Onixa, wich was complety black with a subtle white lock in her tummy; well Onixa had those super shiny yellow eyes, with that strong dark iris, her watch used to scared me, so intense! I can remember the eyes of one woman wich I met when I was at high school, she told me that she has 4 colours in their eyes, I saw in those lines of sky blue, peach, grey, green, with a weird and nice marron as background. I can remember the green eyes of a handsome man, those palid green eyes, not like emerald green, this ones were green eyes, when I remember his eyes I think that maybe someone put a bit of brownish-gray in there, using a brush, as an curious artist. And of course, I have in my mind all the time the eyes of man who stoled a piece of sunny and plenty sky, and he's not on shame because of it, not even a little!

Entonces apareció un mago y editó mi trabajo:

Cristina, you are a very artistic lady. You have written here a wonderful thought. I only have a few suggestions. I have translated it into a beautiful paragraph writtten by an intelligent and sensitive young lady: I think I have a passion for eye color. I usually remember the color of people’s eyes easier than I can remember their names. For an example is my first kitty, Onixa. She was an all-black cat with just a little white lock of fur on her tummy. Onixa had those super-shiny, yellow eyes with a strong, dark iris. (plural of iris is irides. Better: ...with strong, dark irides.) Her gaze almost scared me, it was so intense! I remember the eyes of one girl I met in high school. She told me she had four colors in her eyes. I saw shades of sky blue, peach, gray, green, with a pleasantly strange maroon background. I can remember the green eyes of a handsome man with those pallid green eyes, not quite emerald. His eyes were green. As I remember his eyes, it seems as if an artist painted in a bit of brownish gray. And, of course I can’t get out of my mind, the eyes of a man who has stolen a piece of full, sunny sky -- and has no shame for it -- not even a little!

De hecho estoy enamorada de ese caballero que no se avergüenza en tener pequeños ojos llenos de tamaña inmensidad.